She Lives with Me
by Kiwiri
Summary: REPOSTED AND UPDATED! Because the weird things that happen when Naminé comes over are not finished!
1. Kareoke Madness

**Chapter 1 : Karaoke Madness**

**Please keep in mind that my sister took part in the making of this story! Enjoy!**

_DING DONG!_ Naminé put down her sketchbook and rushed towards the door of her mansion. When she opened the door, she saw DiZ.

"DiZ?" Naminé was confused "What are you doing here?"

"Karaoke night remember?" he answered. Dusks appeared behind him, "Let's go to the karaoke room!"

They sat down on a large table that covered half of the room across. The many plates of "nothing" porridge (made by DiZ himself) lay in front of the seated Dusks that eagerly waited for karaoke. DiZ with and outrageous smile on his face climbed on to the table with the assistance of the make-shift "dusk stairs" clutching onto the mike. You could feel the suspense in the air. Naminé raised an eyebrow.

At last, DiZ spoke.

"1, 2, 3 Let's do this!"

Naminé's curious expression faded into a horrified one. For DiZ was singing,

"I will survive, I will survive!"

Once you think about it, it wasn't singing. He was screaming. It sounded like a cow trying to sing opera.

(By the way this song is disco)

The Dusks surprisingly were enjoying the song and were clapping and swaying to the beat. Even as windows were shattering, babies were crying and the people of Twilight Town were screaming around like there was no tomorrow. (Then again, at this rate, there was no tomorrow)

To Naminé's eternal delight, some Dusk choked on the mystery "nothing" ingredient in their porridge and coughed it onto the karaoke machine. The machine needless to say, broke.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" DiZ cried, _How will I survive?_

"YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!" Naminé cheered.

"That means only one thing boys…" DiZ turned to the Dusks, digging into the porridge. "We all sing together….. without the music!"

The Dusks gasped and swayed and some even got drunk from the porridge somehow. But mainly, they were silent.

"1, 2, 3, GO!"

"I will survive, I will survive! Louder Boys! I WILL SURVIVE! I WILL SURIVE LOUDER! **I WILL SURVIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**"

"Ugh! My ears!" Naminé yelled covering her ears. Before she knew it, her mansion had blew up.

"DiZ! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

Naminé screamed.

"Busted!" A Dusk whispered and all of them scattered away.

"AHHHHH! What will I do now?" Naminé sighed sitting on the now exploded table.

"Want to live with me?" A voice came behind.

"Hmm?" Naminé looked up, "Roxas?"

"Yeah?" Roxas smiled, "So yes or no?"

"Um…eh" Naminé looked up and down quickly. Roxas took that as a nod.

"Sure just pack your unexploded things and we'll get going!"

"But no! I couldn't!"

"Hey do I hear DiZ coming?" Roxas teased. "I'll go call him!"

"Okay Roxas I get it!" Naminé went to her back yard. "Good thing I was spring cleaning so I left everything outside and far away!"

"Okay let's go!" Roxas said, beginning to lead the way.

**If you liked it please review thanks! **


	2. The Phone Call

**Chapter 2: The Phone Call**

**Please keep in mind that my sister helped out in the making of this story.**

"Well, welcome to my house!" Roxas said.

Naminé simply blushed. She was about to live with Roxas. "It's uh…very white!"

"Yup! I just bought it!" Roxas told her.

"You had the money for that?" I mean you could've donated it…"

Roxas rolled his eyes. The princess of light's Nobody, Naminé. Of course she'd love to donate. "Yeah, okay I get it. I'll donate tomorrow…promise."

Naminé remembered moments ago when DiZ blew up her mansion with his terrible "I will survive" karaoke singing. She shook her head "Uh… good" Roxas unlocked the front door with his house keys.

"Hey Roxas, why didn't you just use your Keyblade?" Naminé asked.

"Uh…you don't want to know…" Roxas said recalling when he tried to use the Keyblade on his mom's front door.

-Flashback-

"Hmmm… I wonder where my keys went." Roxas stood in front of his mom's house. "Oh well looks like I have to use the Keyblade!"

BOOM!

-Flashback-

"Oh…Okay." Naminé stepped inside with her bags. Roxas took them and led her to her room upstairs.

"Oh wow! It's like the one back home; COMPLETELY WHITE!" Naminé exclaimed.

"Yes…" Roxas turned around, "Settle in and then come downstairs to eat lunch."

"Sure." Naminé started to unpack her things.

_Wait _Naminé thought, _he can cook?_

-Mean while downstairs-

_RING! RING!_

Roxas was in the kitchen. He reached for the phone.

"Hello?" Roxas answered the phone.

"Hello Roxie?"

"Mom? What do you want?"

"I want to send you a message."

"What?"

"You have to get a girlfriend by this age. And I'm coming over today to see if you've got one. You better have one …or else I live with you forever!"

"BUT MOM!" Roxas almost whined.

"Nope I'm coming over! And there's nothing you can do so:P"

"Argh!" Roxas hung up.

Curious Naminé couldn't help overhearing Roxas' loud and annoyed sounding replies on the phone.

"Sorry to be nosey but, what did she say?" Naminé asked.

"She's coming over today and now I need to get a girlfriend by then!" Roxas answered annoyed.

"Why don't you tell her that you don't want one?"

_Darn, _Naminé thought, _he doesn't want one!_

"Then she'll just live here with me for the rest of my life," Roxas replied.

_DING! DONG!_

"That's her!" Roxas exclaimed, "Naminé, act normal!"

Roxas hurried to the door, "Hello mom!" A large, perky smile was plastered on his face."

"Hello Roxie." She pinched his cheeks. She looked over at Naminé who was standing in her best posture, smiling, "And who's this Roxie? Your girlfriend"

"Uh…" Roxas stammered and looked over at Naminé who shrugged. "Maybe I'll let you settle in and then we'll talk."

"Okay…" Roxas' mom glared at Naminé. Naminé's smile faded into a worried expression no different from the one she used with DiZ's karaoke. His mom smiled and followed Roxas to her room.

"This is going to be a heck of a house!" Naminé sighed.

**Now get ready for the next Chapter! I won't continue if no one reviews! (Heh, no one nobody:P) Just review:)**


	3. School

**Chapter 3: School**

**Note: This is written by Kiwiri's sister and of course Kiwiri.**

It was a good thing that Naminé could bake cookies or the subject of boyfriend/girlfriend would have never been dropped Roxas' persistent mother. To thank Naminé for acquiring the skill, he bent on his knees and worshipped her repeatedly. The two girls laughed at this queer gesture.

The Next Day

Naminé awoke to remember that she had something for Roxas that day. She made her way down the long white hall to Roxas' room door. The door instantly flung open yet Roxas was no where to be found. The next thing you, Naminé burst out running from the room towards the kitchen downstairs.

"OH NO!" panicked Naminé.

Roxas' mother was washing dishes and simply raised an eyebrow at Naminé.

"What is it dear?"

"Call the police, the FBI, Ambulance, Fire Department, anybody! Roxas….He's gone!"

His Mother gave a –what seemed like an -- evil laugh at her, which made Naminé very, very skittish.

"Yes, he is…..He's went to school.

"Oh" replied the overacted, embarrassed Naminé. She stared at the ground for a while then an idea came. Since Roxas was gone, Naminé could have a perfect opportunity for a question session with his mother. She fiendishly grinned.

"Could I ask you a few questions?"

"Certainly" said Roxas' mother who stopped dish washing and sat down on the white sofa.

"You can begin now dear."

The eager Naminé was not going to miss any detail. So she wrote the given information on a nearby note pad.

"OK, what are Roxas' deepest darkest secrets?"

Meanwhile…..At School

The twilight town school looked like any other school High School except, it was a love school. That's right, this school thought you on every detail on love.

When Roxas arrived at school, he was late, as usual. No matter, Miss Gainsborough (That's right, Aerith's the Teacher) was disappointed at the fact that he did bring a female to be his partner.

"Good morning Roxas." Aerith said dryly. "Did you find a girl yet?"

Roxas blushed for at his forgetfulness. It didn't help when he heard a few girls giggling at the back of the classroom.

"Yes!" The few girls cheered.

"Alright I'll give you one more day. You'll need someone for tomorrow's class or I'll have to fail you."

"Yes Ma'am!" Roxas took his seat wondering what he was going to do. No way, no how was he going to pair up with the perky fan girls.

Roxas arrived home relieved that it was all over. He ran towards Naminé.

"Naminé! You've gotta help me!

Roxas pleaded in a desperate tone.

"Ah! You're back!" Naminé hugged him then she let go, "What's wrong?"

"I need you to come to school with me tomorrow!"

"Why?"

"Roxas paused for a moment. Would it really be wise to tell her? Nahh, she'll find out tomorrow.

"By the way…do you have a dress you can dance with?"

"Yes…"She said very suspiciously.

"Good! Remember tomorrow at school…bring a dress!"

"Okay…."

The Next Day……

Roxas and Naminé reach school, however a bit late.

Right now, they were waiting outside of the classroom.

"I'm Scared Roxas."

"Don't worry, so am I. Let's try to keep a low profile entry? Maybe none will notice us then?"

Roxas slowly stepped in and Naminé followed. Not many people notice them until Roxas said:

"HELLO PEOPLZ! ROXAS IS IN THE HOUSE!"

Everyone cheered and Naminé just wanted to hide.

She began to slowly walk towards the door when Roxas grabbed her by the wrist and introduced her as he did to himself.

"AND THIS IS NAMINÉ EVERYONE!"

Naminé face turned bright red.

"Um...Hello." She greeted

"HELLO NAMINÉ! ROXAS HAS TOLD US NOTHING ABOUT YOU!"

The crowd of students yelled.

_Nothing_ thought Naminé. Really? Did that mean he mentioned her or not?

Miss G. did not like the rebellious behaviour in the classroom. Naminé once again saved the day because she was Roxas' partner.

"Roxas, I see you finally got yourself a partner. Please you two, take your seats. But first, what's her name?"

"My name is Naminé." She replied with a gentle, royal smile.

"Oh…..Your Kairi's nobody; her alter ego. Nice to meet you."

The two nobodies took their seats. ON their way there, they could hear disappointed fan girls crying "Why God? Why her?"

"Now," Aerith continued "Let's start class shall we?

Okay, let us begin with everyone's favourite subject: Nursing!"

The class groaned.

"You know the drill boys, go hurt yourself."

When Aerith said go hurt yourself, she really meant it.

The boys were banging into walls, punching each other out; and they all were actually allowed to do this in school! After a few good minutes of utter chaos, some of the boys lay half-dead on the tiled floors of the school. Others were a bit luckier.

"Good Job!" Aerith seemed not to even care if any one of them died. "Now, on to step two! Boys, you know what to do!"

"Man I hate this part!" Hayner whispered to Roxas in a very dead way, "It's either the girls get creeped, or we get nervous."

"Hey, how 'bout we stall" Roxas whispered back.

"Hey, good idea!"

"UM MISS!" Hayner and Roxas yelled, "CAN CLOUD DEMONSTRATE FOR US FIRST?"

"I'm not falling for it this time okay." Aerith was smart.

"Darn!" Roxas said, "Naminé's gonna freak!"

"I'm getting nervous already!" Hayner replied.

"Well, at least your partner, Olette is mature for one." Roxas said.

"Off with the shirts boys! The girls have to heal you now! You have half–an-hour to take them off before you fail. The boys looked at the girls. Naminé's face was as bright as her somebody's hair (Kairi).

"Here goes nothing?" Roxas said in a question. Naminé giggled _At least he won't actually do it_ Naminé thought. Roxas took off his jacket. Then all of the 13 shirts under that. Naminé got it now _That's why they gat half-an-hour _She blushed and turned away from Roxas, _It takes him half-an-hour to take all 14 pieces of clothing off._

Roxas just sat there smiling at Naminé.

"Naminé? Do you not know how to nurse?" Aerith asked.

"I do." Naminé answered still turning away from Roxas, "It's just that…"

"Oh dear……." Aerith thought, "Ah! Everyone pay attention to Naminé and Roxas, they will be demonstrating to us how to nurse."

"What?" Naminé shrieked.

"Yes…go on." Aerith said trying to encourage her.

Minutes had passed and Naminé began to turn around to Roxas who was lying down on the bed. Each student got a bed. It was like the ones you get in hospitals.

"Here goes nothing?" Naminé mimicked Roxas. "Curaga!"

"Good Job!" Aerith said, "Just try to keep your eyes open next time!"

Naminé nodded. _I wonder why I had to bring a dress for dancing though_.

"Okay… did the girls bring a dress," Aerith looked over at Naminé, "for dancing?" All of the girls nodded. "Good because after lunch, we will be doing—, "Aerith's words were cut off by the bell. "Oh and that's the bell!"

Everyone dressed and rushed out of the classroom with their bags. Naminé waited for Roxas. It seemed he dressed faster then he undressed. Naminé smiled at him, he smiled at her. Roxas eventually grabbed his lunch bag. He gave Naminé her lunch bag.

"Let's go." He said. Roxas took Naminé's hand and they ran down the hall to the cafeteria. It seems Aerith didn't mind if they ran down the hall.

"It's good exercise for them," she would always say to principal. The principal would be so stunned by Aerith's mysterious charm that he would give in. (After all, he was Cloud).

-In the Cafeteria-

Naminé took out one of her freshly baked cookies. "Do you want one?" she asked Roxas.

"No thanks!"

"Oh have a cookie!" Naminé stuffed it in his mouth. "What do you think?"

"It's very…tasty" Roxas said after swallowing the cookie.

"Good!" Naminé said. Everyone was staring at the couple. Selphie just _had _to say "Oh that's sooooooooo ROMANTIC!" Everyone groaned.

-After Lunch-

"Okay class! Time for Tango classes!" Aerith told her students. Everyone cheered. The students were so happy. Usually Aerith would extend the time for nursing. "Girls go to the bathroom and change into your dresses. Boys…wait."

-after waiting 1 hour-

The girls walked into the room like they were going to a prom. Roxas stared at Naminé who was beside him. The students stood up and lined up at the door.

"Hey Hayner" Roxas whispered, "Why is it that she still treats us like kids?"

"Beats me!" Hayner replied.

The class made their way down to the gym.

"Okay, now who can demonstrate to us the Tango?" Aerith looked at Naminé and Roxas, giving them the 'I choose you' look. The two nodded and stepped in front of the class. They were totally relaxed.

Aerith had hired a Moogle orchestra to play Tango music. Everyone awed as the cute little couple danced away. But they sighed as it ended. Naminé and Roxas proudly bowed in front of their classmates.

"Wonderful! You both receive an A!"

"Yes!" Naminé and Roxas celebrated with a nice, long hug. "I will be marking the rest of you tomorrow…..bring your dresses everyone except for Naminé and the people I've marked already! CLASS DISMISSED!"

"YAHOO!" everyone rushed out of the school and ran home for whatever reason they'd run home.

"Roxas," Aerith called.

"Yes miss?"

"Prepare to feel sick tomorrow."

"Huh?"

"Naminé's Curaga backfired for some reason…I'm not sure why. So I guess I won't see you tomorrow then."

"Okay…" Roxas walked away.

**Now review or I won't continue (Actually I'd love to continue because anytime now Naminé's gonna play ---- ---- and Roxas is going to ------ - ---- --------! (Don't worry, you'll find out)**


	4. Roxas is Sick

**Roxas is Sick **

**Note: WE have already completed Kingdom Hearts II!**

It was once again a beautiful day were the twilight was seeping through Naminé window curtains. As usual she made herself downstairs for breakfast, once again to wind up in another mess.

"Good morning, Roxas"

"Naminé! Good," Roxas was interrupted by a chain of vigorous cough attacks.

"You…Okay?" asked Naminé.

"Oh yes. I'm perfectly okay." said Roxas with a smile, who began to cough violently.

Naminé squinted her eyes in suspicion. Something was wrong. She then concluded that he was ill.

"Roxas, you're sick."

Naminé said flatly.

Roxas just blinked and denied it by shaking his head, fearing that his coughs might contradict to his argument.

"Admit it Roxas. You're not well."

With that NAminé bought out a thermometer and stuck it in his mouth. Apparently, his temperature exceeded the thermometers expectations and broke.

Roxas tried to smile and say something against it. He was supposed to meet his friends today for it was Olette's birthday. However the persistent Naminé was not going to let him go anywhere. Not today anyway.

He began to run for the door only to find himself stopping to sneeze and kill of a nearing dusk that was sent to check up on Naminé. This just made Naminé very angry thus pulling Roxas by the ear to his room upstairs.

"You're not going anywhere today mister. Not until you heal."

commanded Naminé.

"I guess…..I have no choice." Roxas sighed.

"Good! Too make you feel better, I'll go stew nice warm soup."

Naminé said contently.

And stew nice warm soup she did as Roxas lay in his bed looking up at the white ceiling. (Yes, that's right; this whole house is white, just like the Organization XIII stronghold.)

In a matter of minutes, the soup was done. Naminé brought the soup on a tray she put it beside his bed.

Roxas just starred at her waiting for something to happen.

Naminé smiled and asked "Roxas, do want me to feed you?"

Roxas a bit surprised by the notion, blushed and was speechless.

Naminé once again smiled and even gave out a small giggle which made his face turn red. Normally, this happens more to Naminé.

"Well, you could have just said so,"

With that Naminé took the soup filled with heart warming soup and _gently _stuffed it in his mouth. (Although it's not really _gentle _when you stuff a person with very, very soup. But we try not to think of that.)

This was interesting, Roxas thought. For once, he was the one blushing like mad. Maybe the sickness was getting to him.

She continued to feed him as he was still out of words. The atmosphere was like a hazy dream as radiant rays of light entered the room making the moment come out from a romantic book (Or something like that.)

The rest of day, Naminé was taking care of Roxas. He got his food delivered and feed to him. She gave him medicine and even got him new blankets and pillows when she thought they were infested with a trillion germs. It was a dream having a Princess' alter ego takes care of you. When it was night time, she read him a story while slept in bed whisking himself to a land filled fairytale. Tomorrow surely he could explain to his friends.

The next morning started by an absurd random moggle ransacking through Roxas' things and insisting on playing a games. Good thing that his friends arrived at that very moment too. He was going to have some fun…..


	5. The Poker er I mean Gold Fish Club

**Chapter 5: The Poker…err…Gold Fish Club**

**To tell you the truth…we made Chapter 5 before Chapter 4. Remember, credit BOTH of us (and I'll have to say this like 18 times at most.) Those of you thinking about Nobodies and Some bodies being together Roxas merged with Sora……come on! It's fanfictions for crying out loud! What's the fun in unleashing your soul if you can't go wild? lol **

It was a hot Saturday morning. Roxas was not at school on Friday, and his friends were worried. The sat at the usual spot worried about Roxas.

"Gee Hayner; I wonder how Roxas is doing. I mean, he didn't even show up for school yesterday!" Olette said worried.

"How 'bout we go and check on him?" Pence suggested, "Do you know where he lives?"

"Yup!" Hayner and Olette said in unison. The three raced to Roxas' house.

_DING! DONG!_

"Roxas, you stay in bed, I'll get the door." Naminé said to Roxas. He nodded. Naminé ran downstairs.

-Meanwhile outside-

"Hey Pence, did you bring the cards?" Hayner assured.

"Yup." He answered.

"Good!" Olette said. Naminé opened the front door. "Hi!" she greeted.

"Hey," they replied. Olette looked up at the staircase, "Oh hi Roxas!"

"Roxas?" Naminé turned around, "Roxas I told you to stay in bed!" Roxas was silent, but he listened and hurried to his bed.

"Why can't he talk?" Hayner asked.

"I told him not to open his mouth." Naminé explained.

"Why?" Olette asked.

"Germs can enter his mouth that way."

"But he seems so sad though" Pence began,"like he's gonna cry almost."

"Hey Naminé, do you mind if we cheer him up?" Hayner asked.

"Of course not!" Naminé replied. The three went up stairs.

"Hey, is he allowed to talk?" Olette yelled to Naminé, who was down stairs.

"Yup!" Naminé yelled back.

Hayner, Pence and Olette opened the door to Roxas' room. Roxas was looking out of the window. When he heard the door swing open, he quickly turned around. He smiled at his friends and waved.

Roxas, Naminé said you can talk."

Roxas suddenly started to talk like crazy. "Oh that's great! You realize how annoying it was not being able to talk? If you wanted something you'd have to write every f'en thing down! Man! What wisecrack thought of the idea anyways!"

"Uh…that would be Naminé." Pence answered. Roxas' eyes widened, "Oh…" he paused, "Never mind then." The three rolled their eyed.

"So Roxas, up for a game of cards?" Hayner challenged. Roxas nodded.

"What do you want to play?" Olette asked.

"Poker would be nice." Pence suggested. Apparently, the Moogles had settled in after the day Naminé and Roxas danced to the Moogle orchestra's Tango music. Now, they were popping out of nowhere.

"Yeah! Let's poke each other to death kupo!"

"Uh yeah, not as nice as you think Pence." Roxas laughed staring at the Moogles.

"Okay how 'bout a simple game of 'Gold Fish'?" Olette suggested.

"Sure." The boys replied.

Olette (the responsible one) shuffled the deck and the game began. They decided Roxas would go first.

"Hayner, you got a queen?"

"Gold Fish."

"Darn it!" Roxas picked up a card. Now it was Hayner's turn,

"Olette, you got a 4?"

"Ugh…yes." She handed the card to him.

The game continued on wards. Naminé came upstairs. As she opened the room Roxas rushed at screaming.

"What is it Roxas?" Naminé asked, very, very worried.

"I WON!"

"I suppose you're feeling better now?" Pence said.

"Yup!" Roxas smiled, "didn't I tell you I wasn't sick?"

"Okay fine," Naminé sighed, "At least you feel better." Everyone laughed.

**Review if you liked it! In about 2 chapters, the FUN WILL BEGIN! (If you know what I mean).**


	6. The Rotten Fruits and a Letter

**The Rotten Fruits and a Letter  
**

**Written by: Kiwri's sister. Flaring-fira. Yes we finished kingdomhearts 2 and 1 one we know this makes no sense whatsoever. But that's the good part of a fanfic so ya.!**

Twilight town was an assortment of all types of people. There were nobodies, somebodies, straight people and off course the minority community of fruitcake (not so straight people). That particular minority was so small that it only consisted of one. However, Setzer (who we think is gay because he wears bright purple) felt rather lonely and called his other gay friends along, Seymour and Kuja. Ever since the two joined him, the "Three Rotten Fruits", as they called themselves because their club house was a garbage can- have been attempting to convert straight men/boys into one of them.

On a lazy afternoon, the men were hunting for their target. Out of all the people in the world they spotted a certain dirty blonde…any guess? The three of them agreed that he would certainly do. So they hid in a dark alley and waited squeamishly for their target to pass by.

Poor Roxas, too bad he didn't see it coming what lies beyond the next alleyway. He had something for Naminé and was very eager to tell her. As soon as he set one foot in front of the dingy alleyway, he jumped to see a head slowly popping out garbage with a very perky smile.

"Hullo" said Kuja.

Roxas jumped at the sight of a woman or was it a man? HE couldn't tell for the head had make up feathers however had a manly face.

"Would you be interested in trying out our-eh- new cookie recipe?" asked the girly _it_ rather girlishly.

Roxas didn't answer for he was still figuring put weather it was exactly.

Then out of the metal trash can came another head; this head looked like a guado. A certain death obsessive Seymour Guado. (What would Spira think if they knew? That he was well gay?)

The Guado looked around and then saw that he was facing the wrong way. Being quite tall, his torso was above the can and mooning Roxas.

"Seymour dear, you should turn around. You're going to scare away the costumer…. Again" stated Kuja.

"Oh sorry." replied Seymour turning towards Roxas.

Another head appeared, this one Roxas could recognize. It was Setzer

"You!" exclaimed Setzer as if he was going to kill Roxas. "Would you be interested in our cookies?" He said almost softly and kindly.

Roxas quickly snapped out of his state of shock and then glanced at his watch.

"Oh what do you know? I have to go; see ya!"

He was running towards his house almost in lighting speed.

When he reached his living room he was panting. Naminé starred at him for a good few minutes. Then walked up to him and asked "What's going on? You alright?"

Roxas looked up at her and then fainted. Naminé sighed and adored his adorable little sleeping face.

A few minutes ago…….

"Oh now look what you did! He ran away!" complained Seymour.

"Don't worry, when they run, we have our techniques."

"HehehhhehhhHhohohohhehehehhohoho…….. hazaa!" they all laughed with a few snorts and snarls in the middle.

They quickly grapple hooked themselves on Roxas (where exactly, I'm not sure)

And went for a ride.

Imagine if you will, you were a straight citizen of twilight town, and watched one of your favourite costumer dragging a trash can filled with people going:

"Woot! Woot! Woot! Yeah! Todelldo! Hazaa! Kuzaa! Ohzaa! Haaaaa!"

Repeatedly, wouldn't you think something's up. Nope, not this town. Sights like these were rare but were treated as if nothing was wrong.

Meanwhile at Roxas' house…..

Roxas finally woke up and saw that Naminé somehow managed to drag him on the sofa.

"You okay, Roxas?" Naminé asked rather worried.

"Yeah. I think so….."

"You fainted." Naminé smiled. She then continued "You certainly dragged a few interesting trio of friends. They said they'll be waiting in your room to have some fun. So I think you better go see them."

Roxas really didn't know what to think of the fruits. They were certainly something. But it never accured to him that they were …um…..

Roxas ,after ten seconds realized what Naminé had just done. Who knew what the weirdos could be doing in his room.

Roxas ran upstairs while Naminé was not sure what to do with the garbage can.

He opened the door only to see the trio having….tea?

"Hullo , Roxas my dear." said Kuja as if nothing was wrong.

"Please do join us for tea and cookies." Continued Setzer.

The annoyed Kuja snapped at Setzer. "Puh-leeze. You know very well that it 's biscuits! Not the totally horrendous cookies! Cookies are sooooooooooooo last year!" (and you hear this from a guy)

Seymour finally spoke to Roxas. "So do you want to join us or what?"

" Kuja, I hope you got your thong ready. We can all be like gay men."

Then it came to Roxas. _Men_ No way! Roxas ran down to Naminé.

"Naminé! You just let fruits into my room!"

" Fruits? Roxas, I'm not so sure what you're talking about." Said Naimé rather confused.

Roxas had to scream and then interrupted by this disturbing line.

" Come on. Let's have a sleep over with him in his room! Hazaaa!"

Roxas then woke up in his room. He sighed in relief that it was all a dream.

A good old dream. Or….was it?

" What's the matter Roxi-poo?" the colour Roxas face drained because it was Kuja who said that. "Why aren't you asleep?"

Now Roxas was mad. He summoned his keyblade and beat the heck out of the three and flew them all the way to China.

Meanwhile in China……

'Why did have to wear a thong today?' asked Kuja freezing in the Northern China.

"Kuja, you always wear a thong." said the not so much as freezing to death Setzer.

A young captian named Shang was patorolling the mountain. Uh-oh!

Meanwhile back in Twilight Town……

Roxas was taking a good long shower for he wanted to be fruitcake germ free.

Naminé saw that his friends come over and then told them to wait in the living room.

Naminé, using her dark portals, teleported to Roxas bathroom only to find herself cursing because she was teltported to his bathroom.

When she looked behind, she saw Roxas starring at her while she was having a shower.

Her face truned pure red, his face turned pure red. A moggle's nose that came from the toilet was always pure red.

Roxas just glared at her. Naminé ran out and waited in his room.

After a few long minuets, he came out dressed.

There was a long silence. And then Roxas spoke" So …..you wanted to tell me something?" there was a red hue on Roxas' face.

"Oh, your friends are here." replied Naminé with no eye contact.

" I'll be there in a minute."

Naminé walked out of the room.

Then something caught his attention. It was a letter which was sealed with a heart sticker.

_A love letter? From who…… Naminé? _

Roxas quickly opened it.

Dear Roxas,

You've been on mind and each time my love for keeps getting stronger and stronger.

It is I , your secret admirer. Can you guess who? Keep guessing for I'm not going to tell you. Not just yet.

Love,

Keep guessing…(note: that's not my name.)

Roxas shook his head must be one of his fan girls or even the fruits. But could it be Naminé? He couldn,t just ask her. He would have to get a sample of her writing.

Roxas simply assumed it must be Naminé. He smiled and but the letter some place secret.

Now if I were to tell you where he kept it, it wouldn't be a secret anymore would it.

For the rest of the day he couldn't help stare at Naminé.(Roxas forgot everything about the bathroom incident. However, Naminé didn't)

End Chapter

Note: Kuja's from final fantasy IX. And yes he's a guy villan who wears purple a thong feathers in his hair. You 'll know wht I'm talking about if you see a picture.

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**Please Review!**  



	7. Naminé's Problem

**Chapter7: Naminé's Problem**

**Well this is Chapter 7 of the rather random thing that occured. By: Kiwiri (who wrote this chapter) and Flaring-Fira (who gave ideas)  
**

The (who had moved in a few days ago) always hung around in the bathroom, trying to find synthesysis items. So you would see them daily popping out of the toilets every now and then. This time it was early before Namine's daily weight check. The moogles stared curiously at the wieght scale thing.

"What do you think?" On moogle said as it climbed out of the toilet.

"Open it up." another said. The moggles opened climbed out of the toilet and started playing with the wieght scale. They opened it up and messed up a few things there. When they heard Naminé waking up, they hurried back to the toilet and dived in, to the unknown world of the sewers. Naminé stepped into the bathroom in her pj's. She brushed her teeth until they where sparkly clean. And then she checked her weight.

You could hear her scream echo throughout the whole house. Even Roxas who was having a pleasent dream about marriage woke up suddenly. Namine ran out (fully dressed don't worry.) And knocked on Roxas' mom's door. She opened. "So why'd you scream?" Roxas' mom asked.

"I'll answer that inside." So she let Namine inside. Roxas just passed by to hear Namine's worried voice. And naughty little Roxas decided to eavesdrop.

"I weigh...240 kilograms!" Namine cried.

"You certainly don't look it." Roxas' mom said. "You know, how 'bout you go on a diet. That might help." Namine nodded. Outside, Roxas smirked. _Okay now only if my dad where here. He could help me out with my master plan... he heh. _Roxas rushed off. Hurrying to his room when the doorbell rang. And what he saw was a man in a kilt.

"Hello dad!" Roxas said to the so called tall, athletic, laywer.

"Hello son." he answered. The reason why he wore a kilt was because he thought he was Scottish. Roxas wondered if anyone acctually took him seriouslty in court. Everyone wearing, suits and ties. While he...he wore a kilt. Atleast he's proud of his father in-lae's culture? And that's how how he defended always won. He called it the "lucky kilt" (his only kilt).

Now they can go on with their master plan. Son, Father evil muhahhahhhahha!

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**End of Chapter please Review! **


	8. Naminé: Captain of the Football Team

**Chapter 8: Naminé: Captain of the Foot Ball Team**

**Written by: Kiwiri and some Ideas from Flaring-fira!**

"So son, what's with the smirk on the face?" his dad asked.

"Naminé has a weight problem." Roxas' father grinned, "And you know what that means."

"Well actually no I don't" he said putting down his bags. Roxas rolled his eyes. "Dad! F-O-O-T-B-A-L-L!" Roxas spelled out.

"OHHHHHHH!" his Dad replied. "No really, what's that gotta do with football?"

"Dad! Naminé's gonna play football!"

"Can't she just go to some gym and work out?"

"Dad, when she does, we disguise as the instructors and make it really stressful for her! Then, we persuade her to play football!"

"She can't play football and what difference would it make if we just persuaded her to play football in the first place?" his dad said clicking on the T.V.

"Dad! Stop making me look bad to the readers!" Roxas whined, "And sure she can play football, I mean she's beaten' me up many times!"

"What! The Princess of Light's Nobody beat The Keyblademaster up! That's insane. OHHHHH The Shame!" his father cried.

"Dad, I was kidding" Roxas said rather embarrassed, "But she's played football once, I saw her, she was amazing.

"Okay son, let's try persuading her, if you can prove to me that she's that amazing, and then I won't send you to live with Axel."

"Dad, Axel is probably ogling with Larxene right about now!" Roxas explained. "And come on let's go!" The two headed upstairs to see Naminé bursting out of Roxas' mom's room.

"Roxas I'll do anything, anything to lose weight!"

"Huh?" Roxas began, acting surprised. "Okay, how 'bout we let you try out for football?"

_Wait, did I just tell him I gained weight! _Naminé screamed in her head. _LIKE WHAT THE HECK? And he's calm about it?_

"Um….are you sure about this?" Naminé said worried.

"Oh come on! You're like the best girl I've ever seen play football! You don't care a thing about chipping a nail!"

"Uh Roxas, that's because I cut my nails." Naminé said as Roxas carried her above his like a maniac running to his room. _Dad! Look at me! _Roxas thought in his head. _I'm carrying a 249 kilogram weighing girl!_ After getting dolled-up in a football uniform with her name on it and some random number, (Sorry we can't really write a number 'cause I don't know) on it, Naminé went downstairs to show Roxas.

"See! You're gorgeous!" Roxas complimented, his dad smirking. "Now let's get you down to the field!"

"This place has a football field? Man I swear this place is messed."

"Dad, Let's go."

"Roxas, why is it that you always say 'Dad' when you talk to me?" his father asked.

"I don't know." They dropped Naminé off to the field where she would try-out. Secretly, she was looking forward to this.

"At the field"

"Okay, I don't have time to see what all of you losers can do so I'll just pick randomly!"

"What? That's so unfair!" Naminé complained.

"WHAT, A WOMAN?" The guy who SUPPOSED to test them shrieked.

"Yes,"

"Okay I'll give you one chance." He said, "But only one."

"okay."

"Now boys….and girl." He began, "I am your coach, and you can call me Anne."

"Anne? Isn't that a girl's name? That's your name?" a boy asked.

"No…I just like Anne." He answered, "Now, in the afternoon you people will be having a game. So don't fail me. Got it?"

"Yes sir!" Everyone replied.

-That afternoon-

"I can't believe we didn't even train for this." A boy said to Naminé.

"And he said, YOU were Captain," another whined, still directing it to Naminé, "Anne said some idiot named Roxas made that happen."

"Roxas!" A boy yelled, "isn't he the guy that makes those 'Roxas Fashion Magazines?"

"What!" Naminé shrieked, "The person I live with makes fashion magazines?"

"You live with Roxas!" the boys yelled in unison.

"Roxas told the coach to make me Captain!" Naminé screamed.

The boys and Naminé were in the boy's change room (the only change room there.) gearing up for (American) football. They were waiting for the game to begin and Naminé was so excited.

-IN some random point in the game-

(because no I do not know football that well and RESEARCH would just kill the story.)

Being the PRINCESS of Light, Naminé was too perfect. So when she head butted someone by accident, with a ball in hand, suddenly all the power for cameras went off and people got sand in their eyes all at once. In result, they had to close their eyes and rub the sand out.

So also being Princess of light's Nobody, Naminé's Team won! (so short so sucky). And now the Twilight Dusks won! (I prefer Twilight Tornadoes).

"Dusks danced drunkly" in the stands. And for entertainment, DiZ (who really wouldn't do this) sang just like he did in half time.

"1, 2, 3, Let's do this!" DiZ spoke into the mike, as the Dusks still danced like drunken nothings.

"Hit it Flopsy!" DiZ called. A Dusk hit the drums. (Look back to Chapter 1)"I will survive, I will survive…" he began.

"Don't break the stadium now." She sweat dropped. (Yes we know DiZ is the real Ansem, But even wise guys have to let go sometimes)

Naminé got to Roxas' house. She wanted to ask him about the Fashion Magazine, the boys mentioned, but she was too tired and her ears were sore. So Roxas carried her upstairs, she changed (in the bathroom of course not when Roxas is there!) and he tucked her into bed. "I'll ask him tomorrow she whispered and fell asleep.

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	9. My Sanctuary, My Sanctuary, yeah

**My Sanctuary, My Sanctuary, yeah…………**

By: Flareingfira and Kiwiri…. Enjoy!

After her football adventure, Naminé decided to go to sleep. After all, our little princess just had quite the day. She rested her head on the pillow and on her comfy bed (which Roxas went shopping for months.) Her eyelids got heavy and she whisked away and welcomed by the serenity of dreamland…….

Sort off.

Naminé woke up in a room not her own but a larger and believe it or not and whiter room.

The bed was a lot larger too…

Then a man came with spiky blonde hair and blue eyes. He looked just like Sora or Roxas or whatever. But you see it couldn't have been. This man was taller and was a man, not a teenager.

"Good morning, you finally woke up sleepyhead! You forgot to make breakfast so……I made it for you!"

"Roxas?" Naminé squinting her eyes. How could this happen? He was fifteen just last night but now he looks twenty-three or something.

"What's the matter? You don't like our cooking. The kids and I made it just for you." Holding a tray of pancakes.

"Kids?" Naminé almost had a heart attack.

"Oh, I see this is just some trick…..." Naminé giggled. "And you could stop being so tall, you're probably wearing your mother's 12" heel shoes. Where on earth did your mother get them?"

"Naminé, you're just weird as usual. I think you need to get out of bed and go outside."

"What?"

"Oh I see, you forgot about this too. Come on my sweet little honey bun." Roxas said pulling her out of her bed.

Now Naminé was really confused. As they passed by the mirror in the hallway, she got a good look at herself. She looked around the same age as Roxas. So what they heck was really going on?

They made themselves down to the kitchen where too little toddlers were arguing about I-don't-know-what. The two of them did look alike though…

The little girl who had maple syrup all over her face was saying some of the queerest of all syllables; really. "Gaaahhhh" she said so smoothly and slowly yet so innocently. (That's a lot of –ly's)

Then she said. "Gaaahhhh."

And again "Gaaahhhh."

A few seconds later "Gaaahhhh."

And again "Gaaahhhh."

A few seconds later again "Gaaahhhh."

Then at last the little boy spoke:

"$$$&$#$#$#&$&!#&8!"

Naminé was a bit is shock that she fell.

This pattern continued for a few good minutes.

Finally the two children turned around and noticed Naminé.

"Say good morning kids." Roxas said helping Naminé up.

"Good morning Mommy." They sweetly greeted her in unison while heading towards her to give her a hug. Naminé eyes were wide open. _First of all they can speak English. Second of al they just called me Mommy. Third of all, that's not syrup, that's oh why do I bother?_

"Mommy?" Naminé repeated.

"Daddy, is mommy feeling okay?"

Roxas smiled and gave Naminé a huge hug. She was still in her "I-can't- believe- what's- happening, - look"

"Okay kids you can go upstairs to play."

"Okay!" the two toddlers toddled their way upstairs. (They look soooo adorable doing this. They did some extreme acrobatics. So how is that adorable again?)

"Roxas," Naminé started rather worried. "How old are we?"

"You should know. We're fifty." He said calmly while hugging her.

"WHAT!" Naminé exclaimed.

"Just kidding we're twenty-three." Roxas said stroking her chin.

"So what exactly are you doing here? ( I mean come on , by the time I'm twenty–three, I'll have my own house right?)" Naminé questioned.

Roxas laughed for a good few minutes. "Hehheeheehee….Haha...AHHHAHHHA!HAAAAAEEEEEhooooohohohohohoohohohoEEEEHAHAHHamy HamhamHahahaaaahhhhhhehehehe…ehhhjjjjjjjyyyyu" The suspense was killing her.

"We're married and those two are our children."

Naminé felt sick. "You mean I had …… No way!…..that's wrong! This has got to be a dream…a dream I say" with that she fainted

She awoke in her bed. Great …that was all a dream……a good old dream….

But something completely random eventuated. Roxas cane in barging into her room with listening to an i-pod and "funking" to with it. Now close your eyes and imagine Roxas "funking". I know, I know it sounds weird. Naminé just stared at him and his ridiculous dance. Roxas for some odd reason decided that to further improve his dancing did a head spin totally ignoring the fact that his hair was very spiky. Needless to say his head got stuck during his head spin. Trying to pull himself out, he flipped of Naminé's bed and unfortunately got stuck above her bed with his feet hanging right in Naminé face when she was trying to lie down. Next he did this dance that would make anyone look like an idiot: he put one of his knees pushing towards his chest while putting a hand on it and put his other hand on his head which was also pushing towards his chest. In simpler terms, he looked really gay doing this. She screamed at the fact that he was wearing a kilt. Once again, she fainted………..Yes, that nightmare again…..

She awoke with someone's pants on her face.

"Hey…psst! Naminé" a voice whispered. Naminé took the pants of her face only to see a half naked Roxas hanging from a ceiling awkwardly smiling.

The crimson faced Naminé just starred with a wide mouth. "Roxas……explain."

"Well, I was dancing and got my head stuck on the ceiling. I was trying to wake you up so I threw my clothes at you…….."He just kept rambling on.

Naminé was sporing at Roxas' predicament.

"Roxas, could you wear some clothes!"

"Sure, after you help me out." to Naminé's eternal horror, Roxas' last piece of clothing dropped of and then once again she passed out.

She awoke with someone's pants on her face again.

「ちょっと… psst! Naminé」 a voice whispered in Japanese. Naminé took the pants of her face only to see a half naked Roxas hanging from a ceiling awkwardly smiling.

The crimson faced Naminé just starred with a wide mouth. "Roxasは...説明する" (Oh my god! We're speaking Japanese.)

"よく、 私はダンス、私の頭部を天井で付けられて得た。 私は目覚めさせることを試みていた従って私はあなたで投げた私の衣服を..." he just kept rambling on in Japanese.

Naminé was disgusted at Roxas' predicament.

"Roxas、 か。ある衣服を身に着けることができる!"

"本当に、 あなたの後で私を手助けしなさい。" to Naminé's eternal horror, Roxas' last piece of clothing dropped of and then once again she passed out.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

And then she once again awoke…

She awoke with someone's kilt on her face.

"Hey… psst! Naminé!" a voice whispered. Naminé took the kilt of her face only to see a half naked Roxas hanging from a ceiling awkwardly smiling.

The crimson faced Naminé just starred with a wide mouth. "Roxas ... объясняет….".(oh my God! We're speaking Russian)

"Наилучшим образом, Я танцевал и получил мою головку после того как я вставлен на потолке. Я пытался проспать вы вверх поэтому я бросил мои одежды на вас ..."He just kept rambling on…… in Russian!

Naminé was sporing at Roxas' predicament.

"Roxas, смогли вы нести некоторые одежды!"

"Уверенн, после вас помогите мне вне." to Naminé's eternal horror, Roxas' last piece of clothing dropped of and then, needless to say ……..

she fainted

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Then she once again awoke……

She awoke with someone's tutu on her face.

"Hey…psst! Naminé" a voice whispered. Naminé took the pink frilly tutu of her face only to see a half naked Roxas hanging from a ceiling awkwardly smiling.

The crimson faced Naminé just starred with a wide mouth. "Roxas ...解釋" (Oh my God! Now Chinese!)

"很好， 我是跳舞并且得到了我的頭被困住在天花板。 我設法把您吵醒，因此我投擲了我的衣裳在您..." he just kept rambling on.

Naminé was disgusted at Roxas' predicament and was amazed that their linguistics skills.

"Roxas， 可能您穿一些衣裳？!"

"肯定， 在您以後幫助我" to Naminé's eternal horror, Roxas' last piece of clothing dropped of and then once again she fainted.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

And then she once again awoke…

She awoke with someone's hair or wig on her face.

"Hey…psst! Naminé" a voice whispered. Naminé took the hair of her face only to see a half naked and bald Roxas hanging from a ceiling awkwardly smiling.

The crimson faced Naminé just starred with a wide mouth. "Roxas ... εξηγεί." ( What? Now Greek?)

"Καλά, Χόρευα και πήρα το κεφάλι μου κολλημένο στο ανώτατο όριο. Προσπαθούσα να σας ξυπνήσω έτσι έριξα τα ενδύματά μου σε σας ..."he just kept rambling on.

Naminé was a bit used to this.

"Roxas, could you wear some clothes and you threw your hair and your still stuck on the ceiling!"(Yeah English again!)

"Βέβαιος, αφότου με βοηθάτε." to Naminé's eternal horror, Roxas' last piece of clothing dropped of and then once again she passed out.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

And then she once again awoke…

She awoke with someone's ….well actually; there was nothing on her face this time.

"Hey…psst! Naminé" a voice whispered. Naminé took the pants of her face only to see a fully clothed Roxas on top of her awkwardly smiling.

The not so weird out Naminé just starred with a wide mouth. "Roxas……explain."

"Well, you where speaking many different languages in your sleep." he just kept rambling on.

Naminé was confused

"Roxas, could you get of me!"

"Sure, after you help me out." to Naminé' just passed out.

By the way, this whole routine happened like ten times in ten different languages with various queer objects in her face each time.

She awoke in her bed. Great …that was all a dream……a good old dream….

But something completely random eventuated. Roxas cane in barging into her room with listening to an i-pod and "funking" to with it. Naminé just stared at him and his ridiculous dance. Roxas for some odd reason decided that to further improve his dancing did a head spin totally ignoring the fact that his hair was very spiky. Needless to say his head got stuck during his head spin. Trying to pull himself out, he flipped of Naminé's bed and unfortunately got stuck above her bed with his feet hanging right in Naminé face when she was trying to lie down. In simpler terms, he looked really gay doing this dance especially doing it again. She screamed at the fact that he was wearing a kilt. Once again, she fainted. ………..Yes, that nightmare again…..

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Once gain she awoke and saw Roxas.

Well he was going to anyway to his head stuff in the ceiling routine. Well she assumed that anyway. But Naminé tripped him and sat on him triumptly.

"Finally! I got you!" Naminé said.

"Oww! My back" Roxas stated in agony.

"Naminé get off my back now! You are causing me pain! It's like you weigh….not to be rude but how do you weigh? "

Naminé stopped and looked at Roxas.

"You mean, you weren't going to do that outrageous kilt dance of yours that happened in ten different languages?"

"Naminé you are just imagining things." Roxas insisted while ruffling her hair and getting up.

"Wait… how old is we?" Naminé asked.

"We're fifteen. Why do you ask?"

"Oh good!" she said cheerfully. "Everything's okay then?"

"Naminé, want to dance?" he asked so sweetly.

She was amazed and flattered at the question. "Dance?"

"Yeah? So is that a yes or no?"

"Well……Okay..."

The music started playing. (It's called "One Night Magic by Utada Hikaru feat. Yamada Masashi. I say go download it now! And imagine the following.) Suddenly they were whisked away to a prestigious ballroom with marble floors which allowed the moonlight to engulf them. Soon then they began to dance as the magic filled the air. The smiled, twirled and danced at they enjoyed the good four minutes that the song lasted.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Naminé opened her eyes when the last dream, at least it looked like dream, had ended. She sighed on that imaginary moment when everything was so hazy and the magic of the night had stopped. She wanted this moment in her forever so she drew a picture in her sketch book.

Now she had to keep it in a safe spot.

The safe spot, her Sanctuary. The last time she visited was two weeks ago. Now she had so much to put in particularly this picture.

Naminé locked the door on her room and checked if it was so three or five times. She then surveyed her room to see if anyone was there while closing her windows, pulling the curtains down and double checking if everything was in place. She stood there for a few long minutes and smiled as she headed towards her closet; found a hidden switch then once again checking flicked it. In just a few blinks, the walls turned to reveal many profound things which belonged to……Roxas? Yes, yes, Naminé always had a Roxas obsession. Well this explains why she wanted to meet him _just once_…. (You know in the KH2 prologue)

Wait but does that mean that she's a fan girl! We are sure to find an explanation to this soon, right?

There was a stairway that appeared in the wall. She took it and found herself in the basement. A secret compartment let her kept her worldly treasures. She opened her treasure chest and placed the picture there. With a smile plastered on her face and headed upstairs. But before that, she heard a munching noise. When she turned around there was a cow in Roxas basement eating away on the clothes in the laundry basket. _There's a cow in his basement?_

Naminé thought. The rest of the day was rather normal although the kilt dreams did haunt form time to time. She spent a day in her sanctuary singing One Night magic repeatly and even dancing with her pillow. St the end of the day, she hide her Roxas shrine once more and fell asleep and imagined even more intrigiuing and twisted dreams………..

Dreamland is sure one heck of a place.


	10. When Stick Dudes Eat Eggs

**Chapter: **(I don't know the number but it's called) 

**When Stick Dudes Decide to Eat Eggs**

**I must really suck…haven't updated….in a long amount of time….**

**By: Kiwiri and Flaringfira. Enjoy!**

Naminé woke up rather late. There was a note on the table beside her. It said

_Dear Sleepy Head,_

_I brought you breakfast. Well it's probably brunch by the time you wake up. But you can always take your sweet time combing your blonde, beautiful hair. …erm…I didn't write that. Ohh….just eat and come downstairs. _

_Sincerely,_

_Roxas_

Naminé checked what time it was. The letter was right. This was about to be brunch she was having. As Naminé climbed out of bed to brush both her teeth and hair, she recalled the letter saying something about her beautiful blonde hair. Naminé sighed, and she sat there having it repeated in her head over and over again. There was a knock on the door.

"Oh….I 'm getting ready don't worry!" Naminé yelled to whoever was knocking on her door and she rushed towards the bathroom. The person left and was waiting outside.

-Meanwhile"

"Man…do you know what's talking Naminé so long?" Roxas groaned, "It's already 12:59"

"Moo." His cow corrected.

"Fine then, 1:00." Roxas groaned again.

"Moo?"

"No way!" There's no way I'm going in!" Roxas said to his cow. (he can understand cow), "And there's no way you can make me!" he challenged.

"moo."

"I really shouldn't have said that" Roxas thought.

(Meanwhile)

"Hmmm. What should I wear….?" Naminé thought. "Well I'm not going anywhere special…sooooooooo I'll choose my white dress! Wait now….which one? I mean all of them are white. Hey where'd these white dresses come from. Oh new clothes………..oh well. I'll just were my white dress with the flower lacings…..oh no I should try the leaf lacings…no the tulip…no rose…no….ah I know…..I'll wear the one with no lacings. Now which one of you dresses want to get their lacings cut off?"

Roxas suddenly barged in. Though it looked like he was thrown in or something. Naminé screamed and all she could use for her defence was a ….dress? So she threw It over the one she dubbed "pervert" of this situation. Then, when she opened her eyes she saw some idiot with a dress on his head on top of her._ What an Idiot. _Naminé thought. She took the dress of his head to see…Roxas!

"Um…hi." Was all he could say. Naminé blushed and laughed hysterically, _Whoops, That idiot was Roxas._ Then Naminé frowned. _Wait I'm nude! _She thought trying to hide her "bareness". Roxas blushed (identical to Kairi's hair colour or worst.). Naminé glared at Roxas, Roxas glared at the cow, the cow glared at the bed, The bed glared at Naminé's "bareness". Naminé's "bareness" ………..never mind. None of them wanted to get off. Roxas heard his mom come up the stairs.

He quickly got up and ran out of the room his face burning red hot. Moogles even cooked their lunch.

"Ahh….beautiful French tea with French milk. Kupo" A moogle said flying.

"But the French don't use milk for their tea." Another moogle said.

"Oh so I milked the 'French Cow' for nothing?" the other moogle whined.

"You moogle who is as dimwitted as a baby yak! That's no French cow!" the other moogle explained to the mog who was indeed dimwitted as a baby yak

"Sure it is!" said the mog who we can clearly now see was indeed dimwitted as a baby yak. "YO, COW SPEAK!"

"Moo."

"Now, moogle who is as dimwitted as a baby yak, that is not French, it is cow!"

"I'm sure moo means something in French right?"

"Meanwhile"

"I can't believe I just did that!" Roxas said bursting out of her room with the dress stuck to his shirt. "Stupid CoW!"

"Moo"

"Shut up! If there was a dress stuck to my shirt, Naminé would've told me and my mother would think I raped her. You blew it Daisy! Ever since you pushed me into… well you pushed me into a lot of things. Take a look at this list,

**Roxas' List of Things that he has been pushed into by his beloved (not) CoW **

A volcano (had to be saved by Axel)

2 km of cow dung (she made me eat the stuff too!)

A wrestling match (had to stay in the hospital for some time

The Battle With Sin (What was I doing in FFX?)

The ballerina's stage

The garbage can (Which contained the Rotten Fruits)

The room in which Larxene and Axel were making out (gross)

The alligator infested swamps

An oak tree

A maple tree

A tree tree

A cow

Naminé's bathroom

Naminé's bedroom (before she lived with me)

Naminé's living room

Naminé

The basement (she locked me in there too)

My dad's dancing room (who cares if I danced too? at least I don't wear a kilt and do it!)

The toilet

The Ladies' Washroom

"And that's why I'm going to become a sumo wrestler." At the time when Roxas decided that, Naminé came out of her room. "I won't get pushed around that much."

"Moo."

"Of course I'm not competing! I don't want to! I'll just gain some serious weight!" Roxas said,

"um Roxas you are kidding right?" Naminé asked worriedly.

"'Course not! Cows! Mark my words! I'll get as fat as it takes."

"Moo."

"I know she won't like me anymore but who cares?" Roxas replied, "I mean like I just don't want to be pushed around by CoWs anymore. (CoW is the way they say cow sorry if it's a bit annoying I think it's fun) If she judges me by weight man she's mean!"

"Who?" Naminé asked. She hoped she could put those two together and make Roxas very happy with a love potion.

"moo."

"Why don't we just go to the CoW singing competition?" Roxas suggested.

(The CoW singing competition)

"Moo" The cow judge said. (We all know who's going to sing)

"Daisy"

"Moo" The judge said. (Yes Daisy, Come on to the stage!)

"Moo" Daisy introduced her self and said her song (My name is Daisy and I'm going to Sing "Every Single song in the Ultra Blue album by Hikki (utada hikaru))

"Go on Sing!" Roxas yelled from the crowd of cows down in the basement who had com over to see this amazing CoW member (CoW is an association of cows) sing.

Daisy took a deep breathe "Moo.". Everyone clapped and Daisy earned a year supply of hay and grass. Naminé had no Idea what was going on.

"Wonderful singing Daisy" Roxas said still clapping.

"But All I heard was moo." Naminé said.

"Oh…she was speaking CoW." Roxas replied.

(After the visiting CoW members left.)

"Roxas." Naminé talked to him like she was his wife in the living room on the couch. "Are you sure about this?" Roxas stared at her. He nodded his head because he was freaked out by the way she was talking to him. She checked his temperature. _He's perfectly fine. _Naminé thought. _That's strange. Why would he want to Gain weight? I hate gaining weight. _

"Naminé I'm fine.!"

"Are you su-" Naminé began but was stunned by Roxas' hug. _So Charming. _She thought.

_Where the heck did that come from? That wasn't supposed to happen! _Roxas thought. _Oh well at least I get to hug her so I'm happy. I mean can't hug her when I'm fat! _They kept hugging until they heard Roxas' mom come downstairs. It turned out to be Roxas' dad doing a dance that eventually got his head stuck to the ceiling right over Naminé's head. In a kilt. (Yes, yes , the irony)

"Dad, I know you're not wearing anything under that kilt!." Roxas said slapping his fore head.

"Naminé looked up and fainted."

"What? It was my genuine collecter's edition Hello Kitty © Underwear! Do you know how much this thing cost in Japan? 50 000 yen….erm munny!" (50 000 yen is somewhere around $360.00 I could be wrong.) His Dad explained.

"Mom! Dad's doing that stupid dance that you told him not to do!" Roxas yelled upstairs, "We need to pull him down again!"

"Okay I'll get the SucUvaC © (Even though we made it up) ready. With the Lysol ™ too!" Roxas' mother called.

When Naminé awoke, she saw Roxas' mother fanning her and Roxas watching a sumo wrestling match with a year supply of eggs beside him. He thought eggs would help him get fat. Nice French Eggs © (Even though it isn't copyright) that is. Roxas looked behind him and smiled at Naminé.

_That's the last time I'll see him like that. _Naminé thought. She ran up to Roxas who was now devouring eggs. (Nice French Eggs ©) _And that smile! _ Now he looked at her again. The mother and father left upstairs. Naminé wondered why. You could hear voices like:

"HONEY! I told you not to – grrrrr…. You search in the drawer for your son's baby pictures and what do you get? Your husband stuck to the ceiling!"

"Um…Yeah…can you pull me down now?"

Naminé reached out and hugged Roxas who was still eating like a….pig. Roxas hugged her. Then they let go and Roxas continued eating.

"Roxas I really can't imagine you a sumo wrestler"

"Nah I'll just be the equivalent size of a sumo wrestler. In a month, you won't have to imagine 'cause I'll be right there all big and fat."

"oh…" Naminé hugged him again. Roxas chuckled. His dad hysterically laughed as he ran outside buck naked with Roxas' mother chasing after him saying "HONEY NO!"

Naminé and Roxas froze and were completely silent for they had seen something they really didn't need to see. _Ugh_ Roxas thought, _My eyes! They burn! Like fire! which burns! a lot!_

_(Two weeks later) _

Roxas' dad had just went outside to get his kilt washed at Mac Donald's ® (why there?). Roxas reminded him that they had a laundry machine. Apparently, that kilt was his lucky kilt (his only kilt) and he would only wear that. After that incident, Roxas' parents went to golf camp. (His father wants to be Scottish and golf I believe originated in Scotland.).

For two weeks, Naminé had to watch Roxas get bigger and bigger. With only one more week of eggs to go, Roxas had run out of eggs.

"NOOOOOOO!" he yelled and dropped down on the living room rug. Apparently, he had ate up all the eggs in the world. Naminé ran downstairs.

"Roxas! Your Cow! Daisy she's crossing the road and a truck is going to hit her.

"OH." Roxas tried to get up and instead rolled towards the door, Smashing it open. He looked at the cow in front of him, on the road. "Naminé! That's not Daisy! That's my cow Queen Ann the 2nd and she's mooning you," Roxas corrected laughing. Naminé moved from her position. "Aren't you going to save the poor cow?"

"that's CoW to you."

"but they sound exactly the same!" Naminé replied. "Save your cow! Your lucky the truck's slow!"

"I don't know…" Roxas began. The CoW lunged towards the truck and kicked it sky high into another dimension. Roxas' jaw dropped. "If the cow can kick that truck that far….she can kick me the way I am farther! ( and Queen Ann the 1st would still be here, not with grandmother.)"

"Don't worry Roxas, I guess what you did was for nothing." Naminé said hopefully bringing him back to normal.

"So that means I can finally vomit all those nasty eggs out."

With that, Naminé quickly struggled in pushing Roxas back through the door. Instead she rolled him all the way to the backyard and pushed him through the large French doors there.

(After vomiting like heck)

"Roxas are you okay."

"Yup." Said Roxas still chubby as ever.

"I'm sure you'll never try being a sumo wrestler again right?" Roxas dad said as he came inside and began fixing the door (in a kilt).

"So you going to exercise now?" Naminé smiled and asked Roxas.

"Heck no! I never really ATE any of those eggs. I fed them to CoW agent Queen Ann the 2nd"

"So how'd you gain weight?" Naminé asked. Roxas reached into his mouth and took out a balloon Then he popped it right next to Naminé. "oh… Wait why is it Queen Ann the **2nd**? What happened to Queen Ann the 1st? "

"Oh…you don't want to know…" Roxas replied. Namine froze. "Uh yeah…let's go to bed. Good Night! (wow time sure flies when you try to be a sumo wrestler.)"

"Night." Naminé replied as she they both went to their rooms (they were right next to each other.).

End of this Chapter!

**:) I hope you liked it please do Review.**


	11. Awkwarday

Chapter 11 Awkward Day

By: Flareingfira and Kiwiri

It happened to be 1:00 am in the morning and Roxas was somewhere in the depths of Dreamland.

His cows weren't for as soon as Roxas slept of, the cows were rudely awakened by the sound of (what sounded like ) rocks been thrown into the window.. It had been going on for the past two hours yet the noise did not stop. They did desperately want to wake up Roxas but that would mean no breakfast. So the some 50 odd cows agreed that they would have to solve the problem themselves.

Daisy, the eccentric bold leader of the CoW organization, was lecturing the complainers of the group who desperately wanted to wake up their caretaker. Being a CoW of Scandinavian roots, she naturally lectured the CoWs with her dialect of the CoW language. It was noticeably different but the others were used to it by now.

"Moo" Daisy spoke.( don't you just love her dialect)

The complainers understood.

"Moo"

She explained the plan of action and the CoWs initiated it.

Being secret agents they were trained for these things and were even able to not wake Roxas up.

Daisy ordered some of the agents to quietly open the window catch the rocks and savagely injure the thrower with them. Yes, behind their odd demeanor lies a very savage soul. Nevertheless they began to do what they were told.

Three CoWs opened the window with sheer gas power from their behinds. ( after all gassy cows and CoWs cause 4-10 of the world's Carbon dioxide problem. It's true!). For some reason the soon to be victim did not take not of the green gas that come from the window and kept throwing. The agents were catching the rocks until the person stopped. The CoWs were in their positions and ready to injure their target. They savagely blasted the rocks with their cannons they apparently Roxas allowed in his room.

After hearing some painful sounds they decided that the enemy was achieved. Roxas congratulated them by rolling in his bed. The CoWs were inspired to move on some how. The agents in their four legged ninja suit climbed down a rope from the second story window. They CoWs searched the area but could not find their target, however they did find a letter addressed to Roxas. The dissapointed CoWs hurried back to their room, fixed the window, placed the letter on Roxas' desk and went to sleep.

At last morning came. Roxas was having a dream where he was golfing against his Scottish obsessed father who turned into underwear and was making the CoWs hungry. Roxas realized that it was breakfast time. He woke and went to a dairy cow pattern painted on it and opened it. It had lacy underwear in it. Roxas threw some on the floor and the CoWs gulped them with in minutes. ( the again 50 odd CoWs...)

Roxas got ready and went downstairs. The CoW have forgotten to tell Roxas about the letter.

When Roxas went into the kitchen, he simply ate a bowl of bhot jolokia. To Roxas it looked like a fruit. It even tasted like it. Why on earth would he eat the hottest chili in the world only struck when felt the heat on his tongue. He was many the oddest of all facial expressions that looked like a primate. He literally felt like he was dieing and tried to drink some water and it still didn't work. If it hadn't been for Axel, Roxas would have no hope of saving his tongue. While Roxas was trying to put the heat down, Axel cooled it down with some milk which he sprayed on Roxas's tongue. The heat on his tongue subsided and he felt great relief but was also in shock to see Axel.

"Axel?...Thanks for saving me! You are most definitely one of my best friends" Roxas was very grateful for Axel,s knowledge of handling chili pepper heat.

"You're welcome Roxas. After all that was my chili you just ate. One of my current favourites..." Axel replied followed by a moment of silence.

It almost seemed that Axel was expecting Roxas to say something. He just kept staring at Roxas who was getting more milk from the fridge. Axel then glumly looked at the ground with a sigh.Roxas noticed this and asked like a caring friend.

"Why so glum Axel? Don't tell me you and Larexne had a fight again."

"Do I truly look sad? Maybe that could be the reason..." Axel stared at Roxas with a sorrowful face.

"Roxas I have a love problem."he admitted.

"Really? " Roxas mumbled while drinking a glass of milk, sorta impossible though.

" Yeah----" Axel was cut off after Roxas drank the glass of milk and put it on the counter.

"Don't tell me. You like someone else..." Roxas asked with a cunning smile.

" Yes, yes! That's exactly it! But you see...I don't think they know or is even aware."

At that moment Naminé came downstairs.

"Good morning Roxas!"she then noticed Axel there.

" Oh good morning Axel!"

They both greeted her with a good morning as well.

Roxas turned to Axel and insisted that he continue. Axel quickly changed the subject.

"A fangirl of yours gave me this love letter to you. You don't have a girlfriend right?" Axel said casually.

"No..." Roxas answered slowly.

Axel could see that Naminé became stiff.

" Well you might as well take this then." Roxas took the letter which Axel was holding out and noticed its striking similarity to the other love letters he's been receiving a few weeks ago.

"Thanks." Roxas thanked Axel with a bit of hesitation," What was her name?"

Axel just shrugged and shook his head.

"What did she look like?!" Roxas sounded desperate to know the truth.

"Couldn't see anything. I was taking a midnight stroll in town...Don't remember where though..."

Roxas looked a bit disappointed and naturally suspicious of that answer, "Axel you told me that you didn't like the midnight coldness. Infact thanks to you, we didn't celebrate Halloween!" Axel was silent. "Anybody want pancakes???" Roxas sighed and went back to the thing he SHOULD be thinking about right now. He was really close to finding out who she was. He thought maybe he should ask Naminé. She has friends... wow that's cool I wish I had friends (roxas thinking hasn't seen Olette and ppl since that card game incident all he's seen

"Well see you around." With that Axel left through a portal.

"Yeah." Roxas responded somewhat glumly.

He turned to Naminé to ask about the letter but to see the CoWs puling and eating the lace at the bottom of her dress.

"Roxas, did my dress get heavy or something? And what odd place to keep a cow carpet"

"CoW..." Roxas corrected quietly. He realized that wasn't really the point."Oh... the Cows were eating your underwear all the time" Roxas said sounding like hey, every girl gets there undies eaten by Cows every day, nothing new!

"I luv ♀'s undies!!!" Hayner said peeking his head through the window. Olette's screaming was heard moments later. She threw her unopened can of Red Bull at him, He was naturally out cold but it somehow get inside the house. Everyone stared at it like it was some freakish garbage melancholy alien thingy (atleast that's how Roxas literally lableled.) Roxas stuck the post it on it covering the RED BULL printed on it.

"Why'd you do that?" namine asked.

"Daisy goes mad on this garbage alien melancholy junk..."

"If you're trying to hide that it's the garbage alien melancholy thingy... why'd you even label it that to let her know it was that...?" Namine asked.

"..." Roxas was silent, "Do not question my tactics mortal."

"..." Namine stood ther. Then suddelny _RIP _ her dress was ripped off by a cow. Then CoW war # 56789.21 had begun.

Yet again: a list of the things they war about...

milk (they can make it... but come one FGHTS ARE COOL!)

who does the laundry (they wanted to do it. Oo)

Namie's undi... (no comment)

Cloud's sword (pointless because in the end, they couldn't bring it back home... let alone use it.)

a stapler... ( that was during the Tool wars era ... it's a CoW thing don't ask.)

curd. (they wanted to be Little Ms Muffet's spider friend... for unknown reasons... **cough ** she was wearing a lacy dress ** cough **

a car... (liked the idea of hydrolics... probably inspired by that milk commercial)

Note: all of these happened again and again despite that the lessons they learned from their journeys.

Roxas was quite slow in doing so but he needed something to react on so ... he drank some milk and spit it out on Namin... well it helped right... not so bare... Namine blinked and ran away upstairs.

"Moo." Daisy asked. (what's eating her)

"You"Roxas replied. Daisie's eyes widened. Roxas looked behind him. A CoW was Taking the freakish garb-- I mean Red Bull.

"Put... It... Down" Roxas said.

"Moo." (make me...) Roxas gasped.

"Calli??? You're back from Calllifornia?"Roxas paused.. "And you're still wearing that CoW utter hat..Why do you wear it so much?"

"Moo."

"I'll let you wear the utter hat and eat NORMAL grass if you just put the can down..."

"Moo." (make me)

"Stupid Broken record... I WILL! Roxas ripped his shirt off (not necesserary). And he took the Red Bull (with his mouth for some reason though he has arms)

Then he ran upstairs and into Namine's room Namine blushed and threw underwear at him for defense... gotta think fast right? The he realized when in covered in underwear, _well I don't have lingirie in my room... well I dunno but still my coWs are mutant not my underwear... or someone else's underwear. So that must mean... it's not my rooom! _

Then he ran to his room. In order to hide his Red Bull or frekish garbage whatever he calls it...

But he saw two letters. One on the floor (he dropped it on the way running because somehow it got stuck onto butt during the evnts downstairs the letter that Axel gave it to him) Please don't tell me spam e-mail about Roxas's sticky butt... or the sticky letter. Or just Axel's sticky hands... wait that means he touched Roxas'... oh my god.

Roxas read that one first.

Dear Beloved Roxas,

_You are like a pen that is green_

_You are not mean_

_You are lean_

_You are really squeaky clean._

_You are thew universe compared to Mr. Bean. _

_In middle school you took care of the canteen._

_And you were on the cover of Sweet Sixteen. _

_Oh wait you're Fifteeeeen. _

_Spider gue... it's green. (did you know)_

_BYYYYE,_

_Your wife,_

_Keep guessing more and more everyday... _

_(That's still not my name btw hope you like that poem one of my best works)_

_Ps. _

_Kissing is healthy._

_PS.S _

_I saw a spider on a log the other day! (Thought you should know)_

_PSSS._

_Kitchen-Aid sells OVENS! did you know??? By the way, don't send me a oven just because; I know you love me already that you'd want to send me a oven but... I love ovens but.. DONT SEND ONE!! I REALLY WANT ONE. BUT DON"T GIVE ME ONE. NOOO DON"T OK??? WHATEVER YOU DO DON"TGETME A COOL KITCHEN-AID OVEN ESPECIALLY THE REALLY NEW EXPENSIVE ONE..!!!! I REAPEAT NO OVEN...!!!!!!!_

Roxas paused with a sweatdrop. "is she _trying _reverse psychology on me or what? Well she didn't leave an address or anything so I guess no oven!" Roxas smiled, he wasn't too interested in this girl.

Roxas threw it out. Sort of dissappointed at the really bad poetry. Then he looked over at his desk. There was another letter.

Dear Roxas,

Last night I was:

Throwing rocks at your window,

But your cows just came to know,

I was just going to go (if you know what I mean)

on your lawn...

la la la la la

Elephantas mice and bees. (they're cool)

Here I'm begging on my knees.

I wish that someday we'd meet.

When you actually knew...

When you see...

who I really am...

la la la la la

Do you know what I'm talking about,

When I say I wish you were out.

I was waiting out side your house

She's like the cat and I'm mouse.

I remember when I touched your a

It all happened so fast.

La la la la la la

la ka ka I mean la la la

(Give me a break I'm using a typewriter)

(Oh btw not part of the song)

anyway... I wish you could hear my splendorful singing and motorcycle while you read this but wtf.

(If you watch Indian commercials you'll know what I mean)

Oh by the way that motorcycle... don't buy it for my it's a good brand I want it but... DON"T GET IT FOR ME OK? I REPEAT NO MOTO CYRLCA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love XOX,

Your wife

Roxas stood in silence. He got the idea that ... this wasn't Naminé anymore. (should've caught that one letter ago.)

"I think I need sleep Roxas said spitting out the Red Bull in his mouth and flushing it down the toilet (somehow) He believed that if you flushed food down the toilet it's either the moggles down there would get it or the sewer workers would... never came to him that it would get lost in the scum...

Another day another mystery. The time was 12:30 pm and Roxas was ready to forget the letters and move on by eating some delicious lunch!

To be continued.

* * *

Flareingfira writing! Sorry for not updating for almost a year...Me and my sister had many things to do. And I'm also sorry for any grammatical mistakes that we put in here. I wrote the beginning while my sister wrote the end. But most of the jokes and plot we both thought it up together for the whole story. They were mostly from last year when we planned them out. My sister wrote of the middle parts from the midnight stroll thing... after the letters ... it's me again! 


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